i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize