can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
