i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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