Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm at about main and main street
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
