How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
