"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
