So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
