You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
