it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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