So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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