dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
