She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
