Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Pants are for mortals
The Olympian is in my bed
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
