You're so nebulous sometimes
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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