She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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