i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
