Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
