She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
