im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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