i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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