And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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