dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
