a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize