it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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