Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
