I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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