i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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