Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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