No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
