this beer tastes like vomit already
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So many bounce houses so little time
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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