I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
me + whiskey = a bad person
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Congratulations! We have a period
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