my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize