Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize