I just made out with a guy for $7.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize