I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
