Kiss
Puke
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
