____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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