I don't usually arrange sex via text message
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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