My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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