Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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