We're facebook friends in real life
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
