Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
