I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I take back everything I said about communal showers
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Sorry about my life...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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