He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
