I haven't been this sober since birth.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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