It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think I just sharted jello shots
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
