That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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