well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So much Jack, so little girl.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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