if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
