Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
