Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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