Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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