3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
