Whod you bang
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
