I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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