Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
