is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
