How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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