I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Green mimosas i think yes
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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