I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
