Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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