he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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