College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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