Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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