I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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