Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
