would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
